What REALLY happened at the council of elrond
by Auska
Summary: Title explains it all. PG-13 may be a bit over done but it's highly likely to have swearing (some) in future chaps. R


Okay this really sucks. But I was bored out of my mind and this idea just kinda came to me and you know. I thought hell might as well post it. But you know. If you don't like it. Don't flame me or anything cause I don't like it either! ^_^ If you do like it feel free to review!  
  
BTW before you whinge about characters being different (personality wise) that's kinda the point of my fic. See Tolkien and Peter Jackson have you all fooled. I KNOW THE TRUTH MWAHAHAHAHAHA *cough choke splutter*  
  
What REALLY happened at the Council of Elrond.  
  
Elrond stood gazing around at where his council would be held. He looked at all the chairs that sat in a circle. He quickly rushed over to one and straightened. He then moved back and looked at them again. "Perfect!" he said triumphantly dusting his hands off and moving over to sit on his throney thingy.  
  
Each chair was white with gold trimming; each leaf that lay on the ground was strategically placed; and under each chair was a little gift bag with glittery things and all sorts of other things ("There's no way I'll let Galadriel be known as the best gift giver in Middle Earth. That elf bitch is going down!" Elrond muttered evilly while he put each bag together)  
  
.. 5 minutes later..  
  
"They should be here any minute now."  
  
.. 10 minutes later..  
  
"Yep. Any minute now!"  
  
.. 10 minutes later..  
  
"Hey Elrond." Said Boromir walking up the stairs slowly with a look of great sadness on his face.  
  
"YAY! Someone's here!" Elrond said giggling childishly.  
  
"Uhh. I was just actually here to ask if the Hobbits can use your spare bath robes?"  
  
". Sure. Do you know where everyone is?"  
  
"Yeah. There'll all up in your house pigging out on food and partaying like there's no tomorrow. WAHOO!!" Boromir then turned and ran down the stairs as fast as he could.  
  
When he neared the glass sliding door he didn't notice it was closed and ran *THUD* straight into it.  
  
0_o  
  
Elrond then stormed down to his house, delicately opened the door, stepped gracefully over the steward of Gondor's son who was lying unconscious and shouted "I WEAR PINK PANTIES!!!"  
  
Everyone in the room fell silent and all eyes were on Elrond. "Now that I've got your attention I'd like to remind you that I invited you here for a council. Which means you are all to get your royal... and Er. not so royal arses outside! RIGHT NOW!!!!"  
  
Everyone quickly dropped what they were eating or drinking and made there way outside.  
  
Elrond then coughed loudly, clearing his throat and making sure everyone was paying attention, propped some round, black Harry Potter glasses on his nose and pulled out a piece of paper and began to read aloud. "Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You've been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor.  
  
'Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. DESTRUCTION! AHH WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!"  
  
The rest of the council began whispering to one another, most more worried about Elrond's sanity than some 'threat of Mordor'. "Continue Elrond." Said Gandalf warmly. Elrond then composed himself and began to talk again. "Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction, non can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom!"  
  
"Hehehe Doom!" Laughed a random dwarf.  
  
"Bring forth the ring Frodo." Elrond said waving his hand towards a little round, tabley thing, his looonnnnggg sleave catching on fire as it brushed over a candle.  
  
Gandalf looked over at Frodo who was sleeping like a baby. "Frodo." He whispered nudging him. "Oi wake up."  
  
"Huh? What?"  
  
"The ring. You have to bring it forth." Gandalf whispered.  
  
"Oh right. Sorry. Elrond lost me at 'strangers'." Frodo then stood and searched every one of his pockets.  
  
"Is there a problem Frodo?"  
  
"Uh. No. No problem. Unless you class loosing the ring as a problem."  
  
"YOU WHAT?!" shouted Elrond and Gandalf loudly.  
  
"Hehehe just kidding." Frodo then took the ring out and placed it on the tabley thingy.  
  
"Oooohh. What is it?" asked Legolas eyeing it evilly.  
  
"It's a Hobbit bracelet!"  
  
"It's Hobbit belt."  
  
"Nooo. It's a." Began a dwarf  
  
"IT'S A MICROWAVE!" shouted one of the men of Gondor.  
  
The whole council turned to look at said Gondor dude. All giving him 'Your an idiot' looks. Something which Aragorn had perfected. (Hey if you 'loved' Arwen you would too).  
  
"Well your all ring. It's a ring! ONE RING!" Elrond said his voice echoing impressively around the council (and probably the rest of Middle Earth).  
  
"Really I thought it was two rings." Legolas said sarcastically.  
  
"Sorry my bad. I meant to say THE ONE RING!" again with the impressive echoing thingy majigy.  
  
"Hey he does wear pink panties." A random dwarf commented, his eyes gazing up Elrond's dress (yes dress).  
  
"Why are you looking?"  
  
"Why does Elrond wear pink panties?"  
  
"Who's red panties are you wearing?"  
  
"Father?" called Arwen walking up to her dad. "Dad. Have you taken my pink panties again?"  
  
"No." Elrond replied uneasily.  
  
"Again?" asked the rest of the fellowship.  
  
TBC  
  
Sorry I can't think of anything else. Find out what ELSE. REALLY happened at the council of elrond. 


End file.
